Dear Dan,

You suck. I will now endeavor to tell you why. I thought Cowboys & Aliens was a cool movie. You said it was boring. I bet you are boring. Do you even have a girlfriend? I bet she thinks you're boring too and is just with you out of sympathy. C&A was a good movie. Where else can you mix cowboys with aliens? The movie not only accurately describes the movie itself, but also the genre.

Sincerely,
Rueben

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