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It's hard to believe only half the summer movie season is behind us, what with all the explosions and fart jokes and bad acting we've endured already. But there is hope: July and August offer a steady influx of adult comedies and dramas in addition to big-budget action. Here are some highlights (and probable lowlights) of what’s to come in the next two months.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (July 15) – The tagline for it says "It All Ends," and if you're like me you'll be happy to get it over with. Don't get me wrong -- the trailer certainly looks exciting -- but enough already.
Friends With Benefits (July 22) – Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis play friends, with benefits. This looks fun and raunchy, and I’m happy to see Kunis hook up with anyone. Which reminds me, Natalie Portman made the similarly themed “No Strings Attached” earlier this year. Any chance Natalie and Mila could hook up again for one of these movies?
Captain America: The First Avenger (July 22) – After the success of “Thor” expectations are higher than ever, but it looks like nothing can impact the ridiculous anticipation for “The Avengers” next summer. Unless all the comic book geeks lose their virginity and discover other things to look forward to.
Cowboys & Aliens (July 29) – Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones) and Daniel Craig (James Bond) fight aliens in the old west in this action pic from “Iron Man” director Jon Favreau. Looks like Han Solo is returning to Tattooine and looking for Greedo blood! (For those who don’t get it, that’s a terrible “Star Wars” joke. Moving on.)
Crazy Stupid Love (July 29) – Isn’t all love crazy and stupid? With this cast (Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone), I don’t care what they call it.
The Smurfs (July 29) – It’s live action with animated Smurfs, and in 3D. Writing this makes me want to crawl into a corner and cry for my bastardized youth.
Attack The Block (July 29) – From the men behind “Shaun of the Dead,” a teenage gang defends its South London block from aliens. Early buzz says it’s hilarious, so keep an eye out for it.
The Change-Up (August 5) – After the disappointing “Green Lantern,” Ryan Reynolds needs this body-switching comedy with Jason Bateman to be a hit. Oh, wait, no he doesn’t. Why? Because he still looks like Ryan Reynolds.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (August 5) – James Franco plays a scientist experimenting on apes when things go horribly wrong in this prequel. A baby ape died recently at Metrozoo. This has nothing to do with the movie, but it is ape-related. And sad.
The Help (August 10) – A serious summer movie in which a college student (Emma Stone) returns home to Mississippi in 1962 and writes a book documenting how African-American maids have it rough. In other startling revelations, Miami has a large Hispanic population.
30 Minutes Or Less (August 12) – A pizza delivery guy (Jesse Eisenberg) has a bomb strapped to his chest and 30 minutes to rob a bank, or else. We all know pizza delivery people can’t do anything in 30 minutes besides let your food get cold while they smoke a J.
Final Destination 5 (August 12) – After four movies, you’d think they would have gotten there already.
Conan The Barbarian (August 19) – During my first summer preview I wrote “Hahahahahahaha!” for this movie. In an effort to be more current, I’d like to revise that to “LOL-OMG-LMAO!”
Fright Night (August 19) – Too bad “Twilight” already sucked the life out of neighborhood vampire stories.
Spy Kids 4: All The Time In The World In 4D (August 19) – With Aromascope, meaning viewers will be given scratch-and-sniff cards so they can further “experience” the movie. The last time someone tried this it was John Waters, who was the first filmmaker to show characters eating fecal matter. Just sayin’.
Columbiana (August 26) – Zoe Saldana (“Avatar”) is hot, and she goes around kicking ass and killing people. I’m in.
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brssmnky
said:
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... Harry Potter looks amazing. Can't wait! Also, just got back from a screening of Friends With Benefits and it was MUCH better then No Strings Attached. Mila and Justin seemed to have better chemistry together and unlike Ashton Kutcher, Justin actually made me laugh. |
Looking forward so much - will be online early waiting to get in!
JOSH Z
said:
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... IM SO READY FOR THE HARRY POTTER FINALE, AS WELL AS THE RETURN OF HARRISON TO THE BIG SCREEN  |
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