Is it worth $10? No

In the opening of “Shark Night 3D,” a girl swimming alone is attacked and violently thrust around by an unseen force under the water. While this is not quite the same as having Richard Dreyfuss getting attacked while fishing and singing “Show Me the Way to Go Home” in last year’s Piranha, the intention is the same: A nod to “Jaws.”

This begs the question: Why not just remake “Jaws,” or make another “Jaws” and get it over with? Now, do I really want to see “Jaws” remade, as if the original can be improved upon in some way? No, I don’t—because it can’t.  At the same time, it’s annoying to watch all these killer fish movies that pay their respects to a great film, then do nothing great on their own. Can’t Hollywood just leave it be if they have nothing special to offer?

Or, if you are going to make something like “Shark Night 3D,” why not go all the way with a hard R. At least “Piranha” got that right. If a movie is going to do little more than exploit young people with hot bodies getting killed and bloodied up in nasty ways, at least make it worthwhile by showing some boobs or some good gore effects. “Shark Night 3D” is PG-13, so there is none of that. Further, the shark attack in Soul Surfer was more horrifying and hard-hitting than anything in “Shark Night 3D.”

The pretty young shark bait in this film include Sara (Sara Paxton), Nick (Dustin Milligan), Beth (Katharine McPhee), and Malik (Sinqua Walls). They decide to spend a weekend away from college at Sara’s childhood home on a saltwater lake in Louisiana. Once there, they’re met by Sara’s ex Dennis (Chris Carmack), his pal Red (Joshua Leonard), and local Sheriff Sabin (Donal Logue). Just from this short description of who is who, I’m sure you can see where the story goes and what the predictable, uninspired plot twists are. There are no surprises here.

The only two bright spots to “Shark Night 3D” are technical: The sharks looked real, whether they were CGI or animatronic, and the 3D effects were decent. On land the 3D didn’t make much difference, but the debris and the bubbles in the underwater sequences looked impressive. However, I’d give all of that technicality up if the filmmakers would just have the decency to release the next killer fish movie direct to video. Or even better, don’t bother making it at all.

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (15)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Bunnygod said:

	... On a serious note... Bull Sharks can survive is fresh water... Thank you Jeremy Wade!
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 14, 2011
Votes: +1

ahudak said:

	... They made it a point to note that the lake is a saltwater lake. Regardless of that detail, the movie is a waste of time and money.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 07, 2011
Votes: -3

tstoinski said:

	... Going to rely on the review and pass on this one.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 06, 2011
Votes: +0

pmatich said:

	... Absolutely ridiculous - white sharks, tiger sharks, hammerheads, makos, and cookie cutter sharks can't survive in freshwater.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 06, 2011
Votes: -1

twtcad said:

	... I have to agree with your comments on this one! I have not seen it yet, nor do I plan to as I expect it to be a T&A movie like Piranha 3D was.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 06, 2011
Votes: +0

ecrskr said:

	... saw it this weekend. You have to really like campy horror to enjoy this one. Luckily I do, but it was only okay and the 3D is not worth the extra $.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 06, 2011
Votes: -1

xtremetimma said:

	... It's probably just like Piranha 3D...
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 06, 2011
Votes: +0

singalongjonl said:

	... Saw this piece of crap movie, they should have known aiming a shark movie for teenagers is the worst idea. Follow "Deep Blue Sea" and come up with more a more intelligent movie. I hope Meg starts production, on to the next shark movie.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 06, 2011
Votes: +0

bigt7117 said:

	... I totally agree just remake Jaws or have another sequel. I don't know how this crap was released at the theater, it should be stuck inbetween MegaCroc versus Super Cobra and Uwe Boll film on Scfi. Who plays for this crap to be in the theater. I would hate to see how much this crapfest cost and likewise with the promos.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0

Cnolan11 said:

	... im glad i decided to skip seeing this one, although i hated apollo 18.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0

bethy2k2001 said:

	... I didn't really want to see this movie either. But I thought maybe it will be a good b movie to watch but after your review I can wait until dvd.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0

perfectoneness said:

	... I didn't really want to see this movie either. It looked really bad.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0

kstinasuperstar said:

	... I don't see how anyone could want to suffer through this movie. Even if the Technical aspect of the film was good.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0

LockesKidney said:

	... i think what spurred this garbage film making is the fact that Piranha 3D made money...Its like the anaconda effect all over again
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0

adamiojsg said:

	... At least Piranha 3D was self-aware of its camp. It looks like Shark Night 3D takes itself too seriously for its own good.
	report abuse vote down vote up

September 05, 2011
Votes: +0