Is it worth $10? No
Stupid, crass and unfunny, “Observe and Report” is awful in every way imaginable, including some that haven’t been invented yet. It’s almost as if writer/director Jody Hill knows the award for worst movie of 2009 is still up for grabs, and he’ll be damned if someone takes what’s rightfully his. Granted, there’s something to be said for movies that will go to any extreme to make you laugh. But when those extremes aren’t funny it becomes a depressing exercise for all involved.
Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”) plays Ronnie, the head of security for a New Mexico mall who aspires to be a police officer. With a flasher (Randy Gambill) scaring mall patrons, Ronnie believes catching the culprit will be his ticket to the police academy and to the heart of cosmetics girl Brandi (Anna Faris), who won’t give him the time of day.
Ronnie’s mother (Celia Weston) is supportive but always drunk, and his staff of nitwits offers little help. Dennis (Michael Pena) has no idea where he is most of the time, and the Yuen brothers (Matthew and John Yuan) are nihilistic gun nuts (like Ronnie) who don’t know the first thing about maintaining order. There’s also a local detective (Ray Liotta) who hates Ronnie’s idiotic guts, and even tries to get Ronnie killed.
Rogen’s performance isn’t necessarily bad, but the script never allows us to like Ronnie. He’s not a loveable loser, but a bitter, delusional weirdo who legitimately makes the mall a more dangerous place with his presence. Because we don’t like him, and the whole movie revolves around his antics, everything fails.
We can’t blame the poor story construction on Rogen, however. There are multiple storylines here, none of which are balanced with any regard to pacing or optimum comedic affect. Plots and subplots are introduced and completely abandoned for long stretches, making the movie feel like a series of bad “SNL” skits rather than a coherent 85 minutes of attempted humor.
The movie is also unnecessarily vulgar and cruel. At least two minutes are wasted as Ronnie exchanges f-bombs with a kiosk guy he calls Saddam (Aziz Ansari), and the manager (Patton Oswalt) of a cinnamon bun shop is incredibly mean to his sweet cashier, Nell (Collette Wolfe). Why Hill includes so much nastiness is anyone’s guess, but it imposes a dark tone that doesn’t fit the lighthearted stupidity of the rest of the film.
Given my disdain for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” it’s utterly shocking that there are two recent movies with the same basic premise that are this awful. “Observe and Report” is certainly the worse of the two; the family-friendly “Paul Blart” may have been ridiculous and unfunny, but at least it wasn’t as terrible as “Observe and Report.”
Did you know? Rogen agreed to do the movie without reading the script. "Jody was still in the middle of writing it,” Rogen said, “but it just seemed funny…I loved the idea instantly and said I would do it."

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